Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life … But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got heroin?
“
| — | Trainspotting (1996). (via edith-sedgwicks) |
I’m in a win-win situation right now!
On a side note, it may not seem like it because I’m keeping my complaints on this to myself, but I’m really fucking beating myself up over the 6-7 pounds I’ve gained. Because Idk how I gained them. I haven’t changed my diet (except for the fact I’m now eating one thing a day as opposed to one thing every couple days). I’ve started running instead of walking. My clothes still fit the same. I look fat, but then again I always do… but I can feel it, too. And it’s really freaking me out to a point at where it’s rare that I sit down, even when I’m on the computer, and I’m always trying to do sit-ups and I’ve been attempting to purge but the panic attacks keep me from sticking my fingers too far back.
BUT
The other day I ran until I threw up.
So, since I can’t purge, I figured that’d be the best way because I can run and run and run and seemingly never get tired, even when I get side cramps. I’ve always been able to (hence why I loved being in track). But there does come a point at where my body is like ‘enough is enough’ and forces me to stop by making me throw up and get really light headed.
I’ve been running after I eat when I do eat, too, because then it immediately gets the food I ate out of me.
I figure this is much, much healthier than the severe anorexia I’ve been struggling with all my life because I’m actually forcing myself to eat one or two things per day, now. I set alarms on my phone so that I’ll be reminded because the drugs I take daily (opiates, heroin, dxm, etc) make me forget to eat. Whereas, before, I wasn’t eating anything for days at a time unless I was around someone who would notice and say something.
But…I figure since I’m actually eating now AND exercising more (started running instead of walking since I found my track shoes), this is much, much healthier than what I was doing.
And if I go for a run every single time I force myself to eat and run until I throw up, I’ll not only be minimizing the calories take in, but I’ll be burning the rest of them!
At least…that’s what I’m thinking…haha. I hope I’m right because this is an AMAZING solution and idk why I didn’t think of it before!
I’m really happy. And my stamina is skyrocketing from being at my parents house. Running up and down a mountain in NC in the 40-50 degree weather as opposed to running on the flat fucking sidewalks in Florida in 80-90 degree weather is making my lungs a LOT stronger and my stamina shoot up like crazy.
So I’ll be losing weight AND get healthier without changing…anything, pretty much. Except for the fact that I have to run longer to make myself throw up and for the fact that I have to run every single time I eat.
Ah, it’s such a good idea though!
I don’t know WHY it took me till I was 20 fucking years old to think of this. Goddamn.
I’ve also been using this really awesome app on my droid called Noom that lets you track the food you eat, tells you if it’s green, yellow, or red (good for you, okay for you, bad for you), gives you daily hints and daily tasks, keeps track of your weight progress by levels (you level up when you do the challenges it gives you and keep logs of your things), has a built in pedometer and tracks how many steps you walk a day versus how much you’re supposed to walk which is catered to your activity (doctors recommend you take 10,000 steps or more a day, I think it said), gives you daily hints from your weight loss coach on foods you should buy/things you should do/random facts about weight (like, did you know you’d have to walk 4+ miles to burn off the calories from eating a cupcake with frosting?)…ahhhh, this app is just AMAZING. And VERY helpful! To anyone who has a droid, I’d totally recommend it!
But…alas… I honestly feel like a fucking genius right now. c:
And I just ate a half a bowl of lucky charms so methinks I’m going to ignore my horoscope and go for a nice, long, vigorous run in the cold and hopefully throw it all up and feel better! C:
You probably can’t even understand me until I get super excited about 3 minutes in…but uhhhh yeah.
Random video about absolutely nothing… … .shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ahahaha.
I’m fucking weird. And this is proof.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd… …
I’m gonna stop now coz I’m ranting a lot and taking lots of pictures because I’m happy, feel good, and feel like I look good right now. c: Hehehh.
Also, lost 6 pounds since the last time I weighed myself! Well on my way to my goal! 8D
I was trying to find a really simplistic/easy drawing style to pen sketch in…Something I could do in like… 10-20 minutes real easy-like. And I screwed up really badly. But whatever.
I think this is simple enough and I finished in about 12 minutes with a weird fuckin’ awful pen from the dollar store so…I guess this’ll work.
HEY GUYS. THERE’S SOME NO-LIFE ANON REPETITIVELY TELLING MY FRIEND TO GO KILL HERSELF.
http://dannyworsnopsrealbestfriend.tumblr.com/
http://dannyworsnopsrealbestfriend.tumblr.com/
http://dannyworsnopsrealbestfriend.tumblr.com/
http://dannyworsnopsrealbestfriend.tumblr.com/
http://dannyworsnopsrealbestfriend.tumblr.com/
http://dannyworsnopsrealbestfriend.tumblr.com/
http://dannyworsnopsrealbestfriend.tumblr.com/
Go send her some love and go stare at the idiot who’s making a fool of themselves by not knowing the difference between your and you’re and hole and whole. Lmao.
Pretty please? c:
It’d make me really happy!
^^This. So much this.Everyone in the EDM world is a family. And if you judge someone because they won’t take drugs at a rave, then you don’t deserve to be there.
HONESTY HOUR!
Have you ever:
1) Self harmed?
2) Got into a real fight?
3) Been too depressed to move out of your bed?
4) Tried to commit suicide?
5) Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?
6) Watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting?
7) Talked yourself out of serious trouble?
8) Accused someone of using you?
9) Shoplifted?
10) Gotten drunk/high?
11) Been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing?
12) Skipped doing homework to play a video game?
(Right now) Are you:
13) Suicidal?
14) Bored?
15) Avoiding someone?
16) Avoiding some task?
17) Depressed?
18) Crying?
19) Annoyed with a friend?
20) Worried and confused about something important to you?
Do you:
21) Get depressed easily?
22) Get jealous/envious easily?
23) Feel listening to music can take your mind off things?
24) Worry about messing about your relationships a lot?
25) Try hard in all your classes at school?
26) Go out drinking?
27) Smoke cigarettes?
28) Smoke weed?
29) Do any hard drugs?
30) If you said yes to 28 but no to 29, Why?
31) Believe in God/Belong to a religion of your own free will?
32) Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them?
33) Agree that self harm numbs emotional pain?
34) Believe people deserve second chances?
35) Agree with ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’? (ignoring the religious relation to that saying)
36) Think things will get better?
37) Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished?
38) (be honest) Do you judge people who think differently to you? (seriously, be honest)
Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend:
39) Long hair OR short hair?
40) (For Girls one) nice smile OR nice abs?
41) (For Guys one) nice smile OR nice chest?
42) Shy OR open?
43) Eyes OR body?
44) Religious OR non-religious?
45) Caring OR non-restricting of you?
46) Straight edge OR non-straight edge?
47) Piercings OR no piercings?
48) Tattoos OR no tattoos?
49) Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?
50) Has friends you get along with OR has parents you get along with?
Would you:
51) Drink alcohol until you were drunk?
52) Smoke weed?
53) Smoke cigarettes?
54) Get even with someone who betrayed you?
55) Forgive a boyfriend/girlfriend who deeply hurt you?
56) Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you?
57) Keep your faith (any religious view) no matter what?
58) Join a band as a part time activity?
59) Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse?
60) Stand up for your beliefs if someone strongly goes against them?
61) Go vegetarian for a month to see what is was like?
62) Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family?
63) Edit photos of yourself before posting them online?
64) Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported?
65) Be friends with someone who was nice to you, but a cunt to other people?
66) Not like someone simply because your friend(s) didn’t like them?
67) Lie to someone close to you because you don’t want them put up with your problems?
68) Starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes?
69) Get surgery on any part of you? If yes then which part of you?
70) Sleep naked?
You can only choose one:
71) Black or Orange?
72) Metalcore OR Post-Hardcore?
73) Cellphone or Computer?
74) Chocolate milk OR Coke?
75) Tumblr OR Friends?
76) Apple OR PC?
77) TV Shows OR Movies?
78) Old bands OR new Bands?
79) Pop-Punk OR Alternative Rock?
80) Reading OR Listening to music?
81) Coke OR Pepsi? Define your reason for your choice.
82) Staying who you are OR changing yourself drastically?
83) Breakdown OR Clean vocal bridge?
84) Jonny Craig OR Kellin Quinn? Define your reason for your choice.
85) Ronnie OR Craig? Define your reason for your choice.
86) Your life as a comedy OR Your life as a documentary?
87) Go to outer space OR Go all around Europe?
88) Shoes OR Shirts?
89) Chelsea Grin OR Suicide Silence?
90) Drop out of school to get a job OR stay at school and finish your education. Define your reason for your choice.
Almost over:
91) So far have you told 90 truths? And for fuck sake be honest.
92) Are you quiet about your social life with your family?
93) Do you want to travel when you are older?
94) Would you let go of people who mean the most to you to follow your dreams?
95) Did you notice there are no sex related questions?
96) Rather be the opposite gender?
97) What will you name your son/daughter?
98) Do you get harassed more than most people do?
99) What band do you hate the most? Define your reason.
100) What makes you a bad person in your mind?
