Someone send me somethin’?
I’m all alone on Christmas eve… :c I know. I’m pathetic. And lonely. And ahh…idk.
I’m really high, though. These pills are amazing. So…I guess that’s one good thing?
Ugh. I’m just sad. Sad and lonely. On my favourite holiday. .____.;
I…I don’t understand…I’m on the verge of tears right now.
I looked on the scale and I’ve lost 6 pounds…but it looks like I’ve gained 10!
I mean…I can see my collar bones completely clearly now but…but my tummy looks bigger…
And I can suddenly see all the veins in my wrists and hands and feet and ankles now when I never could before and veins really freak me out and I have no idea why they’re all popping up now and it’s FREAKING me out.
But I swear to god…My collar bones are perfectly defined now…and I can still see my ribs…but my tummy looks bigger…and my face does too…and so does everything else in general…my thighs, fingers…arms…I don’t know…
I’m freaking out…
Maybe it’s because I’ve been eating chocolate… I… I can’t believe I let myself add chocolate to my diet for a week… Oh my god…
And now I have no IDEA how long I’m going to have to starve myself to get this weight off…and with all the shit that’s been going on with my heart, I’m not so sure I /can/ starve myself… But if I eat, I’ll end up killing myself for sure…
Oh my god.
How did I let this happen? Nonononononono… I feel so terrible. I’m trying so hard not to cry. I want to purge more than anything right now but it’d do no good since I haven’t eaten since yesternight…But I don’t know what else to do and I feel like I’m about to have a goddamn panic attack!!
I just… I can’t fucking live like this…I can’t I can’t I can’t…
THIS WAS MY FIRST BOTTLE OF ALCOHOL EVER.
FROM FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL.
AND ALSO WHERE I GOT MY NICKNAME FROM
THIS VERY FUCKING BOTTLE
FROM 6 FUCKING YEARS AGO
MY PARENTS STOLE IT FROM ME.
I HID IT UNDER MY BED LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT WHEN I WAS LIKE 14.
AND IT WAS MY VERY FUCKING FIRST BOTTLE EVER.
AND NOW I HAVE IT
IN MY HANDS
YOU GUYS MY PARENTS ALWAYS TOOK ALL THE LIQUOR THEY FOUND FROM ME IN HIGH SCHOOL
AND AS I WAS SNOOPING AROUND IN THEIR STASH AND I FOUND A SECRET COMPARTMENT IN THE WALL
AND I OPENED IT
AND THERE LIES EVERY. SINGLE. BOTTLE. OF LIQUOR.THEY TOOK FROM ME ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY PARENTS!? WHY DIDN’T THEY POUR IT OUT!?
I guess they didn’t wanna waste good liquor… … xD OMG.
TIME TO DRINK EVERY FUCKING LIQUOR BOTTLE I NEVER GOT TO FINISH IN HIGH SCHOOL. LMAO!!
My inner nerd/weeaboo/thing is showing…
I’m such a dick sometimes.
PUT A WORD IN MY ASK BOX AND I WILL ANSWER WITH THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND.
PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEE!!!
-waves neon flashy flags everywhere- GUYS. GUYSSSSS. -blows loud horns- GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NICKI HERE. NICKI ON ROXY’S!!!
TALK TO HIM.
SPEAK TO THE NICKI DOGE!
BARK BARK BARK!!
PAY ATTENTION TO MEEE!!!!!
I’m meeting them all tomorrow.
Oh my god oh my god.
I’m getting so fucking scared.
I’ve never met anyone in real life that I knew online first.
And I’ve never met anyone I liked this much before in my entire life.
I’m so scared.
This is really happening and I’m terrified but so fucking excited.
This’ll be something I remember for the rest of my life.
I hope I don’t fuck up or embarrass myself….
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I’m so excited it’s not even funny!!!!
I can’t wait!! Today needs to hurry up and end!!!
I might get impatient and just leave tonight and drive through the niiiight.
I was going to go to sleep after my therapy appointment and wake up sometime after midnight and start driving. BUT I MIGHT JUST GET HOME FROM THERAPY AND PACK AND LEAVE.
COZ I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED, HOLY GODDAMN.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS THIS IS IT. WHAT I’VE BEEN COUNTING DOWN LIKE OVER A MONTH FOR.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IT’S HAPPENING.
MY LIFE IS THE FUCKING BEST. 8D
“Hey. Sorry to bother you again. We were heading back from the beach since it’s storming and passed by and my boyfriend just thought you might really like this and said you should hang with us tomorrow. Text me, kay?”
I JUST GOT FREE LSD.
I LOVE HER.
TAKIN’ LSD ON TOP OF DXM ON TOP OF VODKA.
I’MA BE FUCKED UPPPPPP TONIGHT.
Blow up my ask please? (:
I just went upstairs because, THANKS TO TUMBLR, I was craving rainbow cupcakes with pastel frosting, ice cream in a cone, and chocolate cake with raspberry syrup and strawberries.
I came back down with a small salad.
WHAT AM I, THE ANTICHRIST!?